Our Cabbage Who Art in Heaven
The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, [Abraham Lincoln’s] Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the [US] Declaration of Independence, but [US] government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words. – from the October 24, 1994 National Review
The Ratbag came home from work last night and revealed that he and his fellow Western Australian police officers had been notified of a change in procedure regarding throwing someone in jail. Oh, they are still going to put people in jail, but they will no longer call it ‘arrest’. It is now an ‘episode’. And if after the episode, the ‘person of interest’ (not ‘suspect’) tries to escape, or tries to harm himself or herself, or another officer, well, that is an ‘event’ that may result in another ‘charge’ or an investigation. All police must complete a self-paced skills upscaling on this new system. Then they must sit an assessment that will measure their understanding of the new system. They may not undertake the assessment before they have completed the course. I wonder: does this mean they can’t episode anyone before they complete the course?
Now that’s silly. One could easily pass the assessment as long as one selected the answers that were full of bureaucratese, doublespeak and jargon. Anyway, the government of Western Australia is also implementing Objective Based Education (OBE) in Years 11 and 12 next school year, so I don’t think the police (no longer the police ‘service’ or police ‘department’ – just ‘police’, thank you very much) can call the measure of individual achievement an ‘assessment’ any more. Or is it an assessment now because it is no longer an examination? Of course, when one attempts an assessment, no longer is a ‘grade’ earned, but one reaches a 'level of achievement'. And if one is unsuccessful in his or her attempt at the assessment of individual achievement, one must be given another chance at exhibiting an appropriate level of achievement…no matter how long it takes.
I read this past week in the West Australian that the new efforts in education have determined that an ‘A’ level of achievement in physics is equivalent to an ‘A’ level of achievement in physical education. This makes perfect sense, of course, because the names of both subjects start with ‘ph’. And everyone knows how difficult any ‘ph’ word is to spell.
I recently complained to the state premier, expressing my displeasure about this conversion to OBE, which has been junked in the US after struggling with it for ten years, and is viewed with a jaundiced eye in the eastern Australian states because it doesn’t work very well over there, either. I received a letter from the Western Australian Parliamentary Secretary to the Premier (how’s that for a title?) thanking me for my concerns ‘about the rollout of outcomes and standards education into Year 11 and 12’. I felt better immediately after reading that first sentence because at least they aren’t calling it OBE…it’s now ‘outcomes and standards education’. OSE. Let’s call it that from the start, because you know it’s destined to be an acronym. In fact, because it follows a stately progression of educational pedagogy, it is probably more accurately called Lineal Outcomes and Standards Education, or more succinctly, LOSE. At the end of the first school year, no doubt the Premier will require a report on how well we are LOSE-ing, upon which the Minister for Education will submit a Lineal Outcomes and Standards Education Report, or, LOSER.
Anyway, the Western Australian Parliamentary Secretary to the Premier reassures me that the WA Curriculum Framework, ‘itself does not mention standards, it states the outcomes that are expected of students across their 12 years of schooling. The outcomes in the Curriculum Framework are of similar nature to those described in the Singaporean education system.’
Can you imagine how relieved I was upon reading that? We are not adopting the unsuccessful US or Australian eastern states’ OBE system, but something very much like the Singaporean system. And everyone knows how successful that is…don’t they?
The letter takes up the better part of an A4 piece of paper, but it really doesn’t say anything, which is the hallmark of bureaucratese. It soothed me with its multi-syllabic obfuscation and circumlocution. It is this writing style, which gives us reassurances such as:
When all stakeholders have an input into the ongoing dialogue regarding the implementation of any new methodology or technology, all parties become partners in the agenda, change facilitators, if you will, and thereby enjoy ownership in any cadre event, whether it be a rollout, a production reduction, a reorganisation or retrenchment. The important thing is that no one feels disenfranchised by the alterations in standard operating procedure but can rest assured that all comments are taken under advisement by the administration.
…is now and ever shall be, for theirs is the kingdom, the power and glory forever and ever, in a one-horse open sleigh or forever hold their peace, and you’ll come a waltzing Matilda with me. Amen.
The Ratbag came home from work last night and revealed that he and his fellow Western Australian police officers had been notified of a change in procedure regarding throwing someone in jail. Oh, they are still going to put people in jail, but they will no longer call it ‘arrest’. It is now an ‘episode’. And if after the episode, the ‘person of interest’ (not ‘suspect’) tries to escape, or tries to harm himself or herself, or another officer, well, that is an ‘event’ that may result in another ‘charge’ or an investigation. All police must complete a self-paced skills upscaling on this new system. Then they must sit an assessment that will measure their understanding of the new system. They may not undertake the assessment before they have completed the course. I wonder: does this mean they can’t episode anyone before they complete the course?
Now that’s silly. One could easily pass the assessment as long as one selected the answers that were full of bureaucratese, doublespeak and jargon. Anyway, the government of Western Australia is also implementing Objective Based Education (OBE) in Years 11 and 12 next school year, so I don’t think the police (no longer the police ‘service’ or police ‘department’ – just ‘police’, thank you very much) can call the measure of individual achievement an ‘assessment’ any more. Or is it an assessment now because it is no longer an examination? Of course, when one attempts an assessment, no longer is a ‘grade’ earned, but one reaches a 'level of achievement'. And if one is unsuccessful in his or her attempt at the assessment of individual achievement, one must be given another chance at exhibiting an appropriate level of achievement…no matter how long it takes.
I read this past week in the West Australian that the new efforts in education have determined that an ‘A’ level of achievement in physics is equivalent to an ‘A’ level of achievement in physical education. This makes perfect sense, of course, because the names of both subjects start with ‘ph’. And everyone knows how difficult any ‘ph’ word is to spell.
I recently complained to the state premier, expressing my displeasure about this conversion to OBE, which has been junked in the US after struggling with it for ten years, and is viewed with a jaundiced eye in the eastern Australian states because it doesn’t work very well over there, either. I received a letter from the Western Australian Parliamentary Secretary to the Premier (how’s that for a title?) thanking me for my concerns ‘about the rollout of outcomes and standards education into Year 11 and 12’. I felt better immediately after reading that first sentence because at least they aren’t calling it OBE…it’s now ‘outcomes and standards education’. OSE. Let’s call it that from the start, because you know it’s destined to be an acronym. In fact, because it follows a stately progression of educational pedagogy, it is probably more accurately called Lineal Outcomes and Standards Education, or more succinctly, LOSE. At the end of the first school year, no doubt the Premier will require a report on how well we are LOSE-ing, upon which the Minister for Education will submit a Lineal Outcomes and Standards Education Report, or, LOSER.
Anyway, the Western Australian Parliamentary Secretary to the Premier reassures me that the WA Curriculum Framework, ‘itself does not mention standards, it states the outcomes that are expected of students across their 12 years of schooling. The outcomes in the Curriculum Framework are of similar nature to those described in the Singaporean education system.’
Can you imagine how relieved I was upon reading that? We are not adopting the unsuccessful US or Australian eastern states’ OBE system, but something very much like the Singaporean system. And everyone knows how successful that is…don’t they?
The letter takes up the better part of an A4 piece of paper, but it really doesn’t say anything, which is the hallmark of bureaucratese. It soothed me with its multi-syllabic obfuscation and circumlocution. It is this writing style, which gives us reassurances such as:
When all stakeholders have an input into the ongoing dialogue regarding the implementation of any new methodology or technology, all parties become partners in the agenda, change facilitators, if you will, and thereby enjoy ownership in any cadre event, whether it be a rollout, a production reduction, a reorganisation or retrenchment. The important thing is that no one feels disenfranchised by the alterations in standard operating procedure but can rest assured that all comments are taken under advisement by the administration.
…is now and ever shall be, for theirs is the kingdom, the power and glory forever and ever, in a one-horse open sleigh or forever hold their peace, and you’ll come a waltzing Matilda with me. Amen.
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